Pep Talks & Permission Slips
PEP TALKS & PERMISSIONS SLIPS
To all my friends who are graduating soon: I’m sorry.
On behalf of all the people at church and friends at the ballpark and relatives near and far, I’m sorry.
We don't mean to put you on the spot when we ask about your post-graduation plans. Truly. We’re just excited, and the first curiosity that pops out of our mouths is “What are your plans for after graduation?” And then you either get an anxious lump in your throat, or you rattle off your best answer for the 87th time that week.
Obviously if you recently landed an amazing internship in Colorado or accepted a nursing job in the NICU of Houston’s finest, you don't mind repeating your definitively good news.
But for those who aren't sure yet, here are a few sentences to consider having locked and loaded. The secret is to be gracious, give an honest answer, and then volley the attention back to the other person.
When a curious community member asks “So … what are your plans after graduation?”
●Aw, thanks for asking! I’m really focused on finishing strong, but I have a ton of options, so that's good. What was your favorite part of school?
●Oh, wow. You are kind to ask. I have applied to a few places, and I've got a little time to let things fall into place. Tell me about your first job.
●It is great to see you! I have lots of decisions to make, that's for sure. What wisdom can you share based on the last big decision you had to make?
To all my friends who care about people who are graduating soon: we can do better.
While this is an exciting time, it is also pressurized with expectations plus fear of the unknown and of failure, so maybe we can lighten up on the solid-plan talk and aim for a meaningful interaction where we've given the gift of interest and encouragement.
Perhaps have a couple sentences loaded for the road. Be gentle, watch their eyes and really listen to them, and affirm whenever possible.
When you spot a senior …
●Are you feeling more nervous or excited about graduating? That’s understandable! I'm [your age] years old, and I’m still learning how to navigate change. I believe God has good things in store for you!
●What’s been the best part of this semester? Where do you see yourself in five years? Sounds like you have some good ideas! You’re making memories and doing great!
●To you, does it feel like graduating is approaching slowly or quickly? What are your top options for what comes next? From what I can tell, you are [brave, patient, smart, wise, persistent, observant, thoughtful, etc]. I certainly believe you have what it takes.
Earlier this week I found myself in a crowd of graduating seniors. When my questions about plans seemed to fall flat or frustrating, I started experimenting with different wording. Gratefully, I soon began stumbling into some really significant and fun interactions.
Pep Talk: We can all be better prepared to foster meaningful conversations.
Permission Slip: We are free to NOT know what comes next.
All the love,
cdj
